Errrs of Endearment
Terms of endearment have always felt very foreign to me. Trying to incorporate them into a personal conversation with a straight face is almost as effusively demanding as attempting left-handed calligraphy...with a quill...while riding a unicycle..on a tightrope...over a tank of hungry piranhas.
Sure, I can mutter the ever-sarcastic, “yes, dear” or sap a few ghetto “babaaaaays” into an off-handed comment here and there, but even that took me about 25 years to master and I still feel odd sometimes. Why is that?
Both my parents use terms of endearment pretty freely. I once hypothesized that it might be because they only use them in Hebrew and that’s how I’ve grown accustomed to hearing them. But after playing out some sentences in my head and having it still feel as apish as ever, I quickly dismissed the whole foreign language excuse.
Then I thought, maybe it’s because I’ve grown up around one too many plastic Los Angeles girls who so robotically and manipulatively spew out “sweetie,” that it makes cringe every time I even think of that word.
Then again, maybe terms of endearment are just not my thing. But that’s not say I don’t love people. Really, I do. They taste like chicken.
In other news, I’m sick and I feel like crap. Who wants a hug?
Sure, I can mutter the ever-sarcastic, “yes, dear” or sap a few ghetto “babaaaaays” into an off-handed comment here and there, but even that took me about 25 years to master and I still feel odd sometimes. Why is that?
Both my parents use terms of endearment pretty freely. I once hypothesized that it might be because they only use them in Hebrew and that’s how I’ve grown accustomed to hearing them. But after playing out some sentences in my head and having it still feel as apish as ever, I quickly dismissed the whole foreign language excuse.
Then I thought, maybe it’s because I’ve grown up around one too many plastic Los Angeles girls who so robotically and manipulatively spew out “sweetie,” that it makes cringe every time I even think of that word.
Then again, maybe terms of endearment are just not my thing. But that’s not say I don’t love people. Really, I do. They taste like chicken.
In other news, I’m sick and I feel like crap. Who wants a hug?
posted by Eti at
8:56 AM
2 Comments:
I felt the same say. The solution is to come up with alternate terms of endearment and make them your own. Like this:
Hello, my little aligator dropping!
or
How's my favorite driveway gravel today?
or, my personal favorite:
I'm sorry, baby squirrel. It's just that you'd be much tastier baked into a quiche.
Awwwwww......
By
Myasorubka, at 9:12 AM
I'm not a big fan of terms of endearment either. To me they mostly connote a dysfunctional waspy family circa 1955.
"Honey, I wish you wouldn't leave your shoes in the middle of the floor when you come home from work."
"Well, dear, maybe if I weren't working sixty-hour weeks to pay down the mortgage, I'd have time to worry about things like that."
By
Nick, at 9:31 AM
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