Cute and Evil

Warning: Sad.

I was ever-so satisfyingly awakened at five this morning to the lovely sounds of what could only be described as my mother’s lovely rendition of my name being screamed in an Israeli accent. (Actually, that’s the proper way for it to be screamed, so nevermind.)

I managed a groggy, “huh? whaaaaat?” (Because when I’m half-asleep I can only respond in lower case letters.) To which she tells me through the door that I have to get up to help her because her (seriously evil and nameless) cat (I call it Kiiiiithy, as in “Hello,” with a lisp) brought home some sort of animal. So I get up to find that Kiiiiithy brought home the most adorable baby squirrel, now laying semi-lifeless and curled up on the dining room floor.

I wish I could tell you that I rolled up my sleeves and rushed into action by administering some sort of Macgyver style CPR with a straw and a Ziploc bag, but such wasn’t the case. All I could do was tell my mom to get a shoe box, fill it up with some toilet paper and bring it to me. Then I grabbed some newspaper, scooped up the squirrel and put it in the box.

We put the box in the bathroom far away from the evilness of Kiiiiithy. And just like little kids who get a new pet, I kept getting up every ten minutes to check on it. It was still alive when I left the house this morning and my mom plans on taking it to the shelter when they open.

It’s weird to think how people respond to the cute and cuddlies. Because you know if Kiiiiithy had brought home a lizard, that lizard would have been taken out to the neighbor’s yard and released to fend for itself. (At least it wasn’t a termite.)

I think I’ll stop here because I don’t want to go into some ill-advised rant about how I don’t like this new cat and how my other cat was really an angel and how it’s not fair that the awesome cats have to be put to sleep while the stupid ones without personality get to run around and maim cute squirrels.

At any rate, hopefully good news to come.