A Heartbreaking Work of Squirrely Genius

Update: Happy.

I spoke to my mom who had good news. The baby squirrel will be okay.

Turns out (not-quite-so-evil) Kiiiithy didn’t really hurt it and that it was mostly asleep; not half-dead, as earlier reported. The nice people at the shelter told my mom that they would hand it over to the wild animal rescue, where I imagine it will be bottle fed and grow into one kick-ass squirrel.

I sort of (read: really, really, really) wanted to keep it. I think Zoe and I really connected and were destined to become great friends. (Cue montage: Eti and Zoe playing in a tree. Eti and Zoe making snow angels. Eti and Zoe eating peanuts together. Eti and Zoe asleep together in a field of poppies on a sunny day.) Ahhh, but such is life.

At least the story had a happy ending.

With that said, I must now revert to my snarky, sarcastic self.