Unemployment: Proper

Okay, okay, so it was just one day off. But look how much I actually did without really doing anything.

8:00 a.m. Wake up.

8:30 a.m. Bowl of cereal over computer / blogging.

9:00 a.m. IMs and e-mails.

10:00 a.m. Read “Rats Saw God.”

11:00 a.m. Finish “Rats Saw God.”

11:01 a.m. Shower and get ready.

12:00 p.m. Eat leftovers while leafing through magazines and contemplating brilliance of “Harold and Maude.” Make mental note to watch “Harold and Maude” again.

12:20 p.m. Enjoy coffee over Photoshop.

12:40 p.m. Surf net, research digital cameras, ponder incestuous nature of blog.

1:00 p.m. Leave house. Run errands. Drop off film from Nick’s chocolate party in August at Target one hour photo. Go to Costco. Schedule long overdue eye exam appointment. Browse. Consider buying “Lipstick Jungle.” Remember that “4 Blondes” sucked ass. Reconsider “Lipstick Jungle.” Decide to think about it. Leave Costco. Go back to Target. Pick up photos. Flip through photos. Grow increasingly disappointed at lack of incriminating photos. Internally giggle at others. Leave Target to continue on quest to find perfect boot. Go to DSW. Mentally distinguish myself from middle aged women buying shoes on Tuesday afternoon in store. Decide all boots at DSW suck. Leave DSW. Make bee line for Tower Records. Browse. Make mental note to activate Netflix account. Drive around. Get iced coffee at Starbucks. Give up boot search. Go home.

3:45 p.m. Get home, turn on computer.

4:00 p.m. More IMs, e-mails, sarcasm. Comment on blogs, research DVDs to Netflix.

4:30 p.m. Get hungry. Eat sandwich with Muenster cheese, humous and out of season tomatoes.

4:45 p.m. Finish sandwich. Beg spiritual forgiveness for said out of season tomatoes.

5:10 p.m. Crank up iTunes, step away from computer.

6:06 p.m. Nick comes over. Discuss America’s Next Top Model and cover songs. Make in-jokes.

7:00 p.m. Hop into car, hop on freeway. Road rage check: mild.

7:30 p.m. Arrive at Silver Lake compound.

7:40 p.m. Don apron. Successfully de-seed pomegranate without staining self as loud Yiddish music plays in background.

7:48 p.m. Consider how cute I look in apron. Make mental note to try to be more domestic.

8:30 p.m. Eat, discuss wacky tales of synagogue, Zionism, vodka and eat more.

9:00 p.m. The mastication continues.

9:30 p.m. Revel in alcoholic stylings of Russian booze cake.

9:55 p.m. Discuss philosphy and absolutes.

10:00 p.m. Realize I'm too sober for this particular discussion.

10:20 p.m Crash book club next door.

10:22 p.m. Clear out book club next door.

12:00 a.m. Overstay welcome. Decide to leave.

12:02 a.m. Hop into car.

12:07 a.m. Get on relatively empty freeway. Road rage check: Nonexistent.

12:15 a.m. Note how lovely L.A. is without traffic.

12:20 a.m. Get home.

12:45 a.m. Make phone call.

12:50 a.m. Get ready for bed.

1:00 a.m. Spoon self and go to sleep.