In Touch At Target

I’m not sure how or why, but on Saturday I found myself shopping at Target with Reena and Nick. Okay, that’s a lie. I know how and why, but I figured it would sound a lot cooler if I pretended that going to Target on a Saturday with my friends was an anomaly. Which, really, it is, because we had some time to kill before a movie, but still.

If you’ve ever shopped at Target, you’ve probably realized that the store has casino-like capabilities of drawing you in and then phantasmally forcing you to drop anywhere from $50-$100 on fairly sensible stuff you think you need, or will come in handy, but not actual stuff that you’re in dire need for. Case in point: did I really need another double pack of Oral B 40 Soft toothbrushes when I still have an unopened pack at home?

Someday I’ll need them, sure!

After paying and walking out, I found a copy of In Touch magazine right outside the front door that somebody must’ve dropped. (Poetic justice, anyone?) I picked it up and pointed it out to Reena and Nick. They were like, “Dude, just leave it there. There are cameras everywhere!”

Now, I’m usually the paranoid one, but I reasoned that if there are cameras everywhere, then the cameras would obviously see me leaving with only my bags and not the magazine. But my friends made a good point: did I really want to be pulled back into the store by loss prevention only to be questioned over a copy of a crappy three dollar gossip rag?

Without hesitation, I threw the magazine into a renegade shopping cart right near where I’d found it and took off.

I tell you, it’s crazy fun times like these that keep me from my blogging and make my life just too fucking exciting.