Eye Can See

Had my long-overdue eye exam yesterday. As expected, I’m getting blinder as the years pass and its only a matter of time before I subject myself to the cornea cutting joys of the laser. Maybe.

Other than all the new technology, the eye exam was pretty standard. The best part, however, (besides the ever-so-delightful two poofs of air shot into your eyes that make you flinch and hit your forehead against the forehead rest and look like an idiot glaucoma test thing) was the digital photo shoot.

It was a bit strange because the flash goes off directly into your eyeballs. Remember in “Rear Window” when Jimmy Stewart is blinding Raymond Burr with the flashbulbs and the screen is rendered different shades of red and orange? Well, it was kind of like that, only with greens and purples. So in it’s own mock sixties acid trip sort of way, it was pretty cool...and I didn’t even have to worry about making sure my hair looked okay.

After a few strokes of the keyboard, my eyeballs magically popped up on the computer screen. At that moment, I had a mini-fantasy of me in front of the judging panel and Tyra saying, “Okay, Eti, you had an eye exam. The Doctor said your optical nerve was very strong and healthy and that you were fierce. Here is your best shot.” Damn, that would’ve been awesome.

Once the exam was over, I attempted to discreetly take a picture of the screen with my camera phone, but alas, I was not to be left alone in the room and was too apprehensive to ask for permission. I kind of regret doing that now because I could’ve had the best holiday cards...ever!

But, you know, bygones, hindsight, etc..