Hi, My Name Is...
Growing up in America with a foreign name meant a constant stream of teasing and name butchering. Yeah, calling me E.T. is SO 1984! By now, I’ve pretty much heard it all. However, having a foreign name in America also means you can Google the shit out of it with awesome results.
Here are some of my self-indulgent, yet witty findings:
1. Hello, Eti
“We even look ahead to the day when humans and ETI will cooperate in joint projects in science, exploration, philanthropy, philosophy, spirituality, myths, art, or music. Perhaps, for instance, we could develop an inspiring symphony or a magnificent piece of visual art that harmoniously combines our efforts and yours.”
Questions For ETI
"Have any other forms of ETI visited our solar system in recent years? Does any dangerous or hostile form of ETI pose any threat to us?"
Oh, if they only knew!
2. Start Eti Up
“We offer a 3-month, no-charge, evaluation edition for ETI. If you want to use ETI after the expiration, you can download a new version of ETI.”
How to start ETI
Start & Quit
1. Run the command prompt.
2. Type ETI.
Type q to quit ETI.
Load Rules
Type
Load "filename" to load rules. For example, load "test.eti"
3. Eti In the Red
“With a proud past and a secure place in explosives history, the ETI focus is fixed firmly on the future.”
Feel free to watch ETI set off a blast...
4. The ETI Band?
I bet there are plenty of groupies out there.
5. Why NOT Choose Eti?!
“ETI is a global leader in the field of geometric dimensioning and tolerancing.”
6. ETI Goes To Washington
“ The Senate today missed another opportunity to pass FSC/ETI legislation to reform the tax code and remove the underlying reason for the sanctions that have been imposed by the European Union on U.S. manufacturers, farmers, and other job creators....The sooner Congress acts to address this issue, the sooner these burdensome sanctions will be lifted. We urge immediate action.”
7. ETI Can Self-Clean
“With its small footprint, the ETI is ideal for wash water recovery in cramped plant floor environments”
8. Higher Education Eti
I’m like Einstein in Turkey.
9. Eti Does Dubai, Epoxy and Rabbits
Is it wrong that I’m kind of aroused by the fact that “ETI has also found success with its new 10 inch diameter...”
However, I’m kind of more aroused by the fact that “ETI is available in two viscosities: ETI-LV (low viscosity) and ETI-GV (gel viscosity) to handle a wide range of crack widths.
And yet, even more so by the fact that “ETI is currently designing the Rabbit 2000 into their flagship ADH-2A COM...”
HOT!
10. Miss Manners Eti
Take the test to find out your Eti-Q?
That's all I've got for now. But there are 83 pages of Google results, so I'm sure I'll have a sequel post...or ten. And, as Nick so poignantly pointed out: you can't spell "FACETIOUS" without ETI!
Here are some of my self-indulgent, yet witty findings:
1. Hello, Eti
“We even look ahead to the day when humans and ETI will cooperate in joint projects in science, exploration, philanthropy, philosophy, spirituality, myths, art, or music. Perhaps, for instance, we could develop an inspiring symphony or a magnificent piece of visual art that harmoniously combines our efforts and yours.”
Questions For ETI
"Have any other forms of ETI visited our solar system in recent years? Does any dangerous or hostile form of ETI pose any threat to us?"
Oh, if they only knew!
2. Start Eti Up
“We offer a 3-month, no-charge, evaluation edition for ETI. If you want to use ETI after the expiration, you can download a new version of ETI.”
How to start ETI
Start & Quit
1. Run the command prompt.
2. Type ETI.
Type q to quit ETI.
Load Rules
Type
Load "filename" to load rules. For example, load "test.eti"
3. Eti In the Red
“With a proud past and a secure place in explosives history, the ETI focus is fixed firmly on the future.”
Feel free to watch ETI set off a blast...
4. The ETI Band?
I bet there are plenty of groupies out there.
5. Why NOT Choose Eti?!
“ETI is a global leader in the field of geometric dimensioning and tolerancing.”
6. ETI Goes To Washington
“ The Senate today missed another opportunity to pass FSC/ETI legislation to reform the tax code and remove the underlying reason for the sanctions that have been imposed by the European Union on U.S. manufacturers, farmers, and other job creators....The sooner Congress acts to address this issue, the sooner these burdensome sanctions will be lifted. We urge immediate action.”
7. ETI Can Self-Clean
“With its small footprint, the ETI is ideal for wash water recovery in cramped plant floor environments”
8. Higher Education Eti
I’m like Einstein in Turkey.
9. Eti Does Dubai, Epoxy and Rabbits
Is it wrong that I’m kind of aroused by the fact that “ETI has also found success with its new 10 inch diameter...”
However, I’m kind of more aroused by the fact that “ETI is available in two viscosities: ETI-LV (low viscosity) and ETI-GV (gel viscosity) to handle a wide range of crack widths.
And yet, even more so by the fact that “ETI is currently designing the Rabbit 2000 into their flagship ADH-2A COM...”
HOT!
10. Miss Manners Eti
Take the test to find out your Eti-Q?
That's all I've got for now. But there are 83 pages of Google results, so I'm sure I'll have a sequel post...or ten. And, as Nick so poignantly pointed out: you can't spell "FACETIOUS" without ETI!
posted by Eti at
9:08 PM
4 Comments:
"10 inch diameter"
"wide range of crack widths"
"rabbit 2000"
Is this the same "Eti" that was bashful watching Kinsey??
Self cleaning does that involve licking?
P.S. I got a 70% on the ETI-Q
By
Anonymous, at 10:22 PM
Well, a lot of those are inaccurate. For example, you can't just type "q" to quit Eti. She doesn't go away that easily. But tell her that Angelina Jolie looked like an ugly 14-year old boy in "Hackers" and that should do the trick. Also, I don't see Eti cooperating with humans -- unless said "magnificent piece of visual art" involves the deleted scene from Playing God.
By
Nick, at 8:51 AM
I also got 70% on the Eti-Q!
Also, I'm not so sure about self-cleaning Eti. I hear she's pretty high-maintenance.
By
Myasorubka, at 9:01 AM
I think rumors of my bashfulness have been highly exaggerated. Then again, maybe I really am that dirty. Perhaps my hypocrisy knows no bounds.
And for the record, the self-cleaning comes before the licking. You girls are just going to have to wait your turn!
By
Eti, at 9:23 AM
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